Sexy Times at Happiness and Truth High

Today, Nehemiah's child was caught in the act of seducing a Barbie Doll. Apparently there was no life guard at the gene pool when this child was conceived.

Dry spell, hard times, and bad lands

It's been a rough spring this year. The Maliseet tribe did a number on our longhorn count a fortnight ago during their "Wild rampage to rid the west of truth and happiness". And yet here we all are, still ranching in the mud, and the blood, and the truth and happiness.

Birthday fun!

Today was Nehemiah's Birthday and here at the happiness and truth ranch we love to celebrate. Since he is our dear friend and butler, Erikahah and I baked him the most sophisticated varmint cake that I have ever laid eyes on (we call it squirrel crossing!).

My children all painted portraits of Nehemiah to give to him for his birthday, and I must say that they do get their artistic talent from their mother

(Here are some pictures of the exciting event!)

In happiness and truth,

Kahlia

Growing Pains

Well, earlier today I was readin' one of my favorite titles, The Tarnished Star. Boy oh boy, I must have read the back cover of that book 16 or 17 times. One of these days I'm gonna start reading the first chapter.

Anyways, while I was enjoying one of my favorite books, my son came running into the room saying he had found a stray and that he wanted to know if we could keep her. I told the young boy that if he promised to take care of her and feed her and train her, then he could keep it. He promised with everythin' he had that he would raise her up good. I told him to take me outside and show me the animal he had found.

Sho' nuff, it wasn't a dog at all. It was Mr. Isaac and Mrs. Erikahah youngest daughter. My boy had her tied up to a tree so she wouldn't get away. It was a mighty fine knot he had tied.

Regardless of his knot-tieing abilities, I beat my boy senseless. Then, after he regained consciousness, I made him return little missy to her ma and pa. Little missy was mighty pissed.

I don't know what I am goin' to do with this bastard son of mine...

-Nehemiah

This is a desecration to our way of life. The city folk are trying to cast us in plastic and sell us as child's toys. Such a severe caricature of the beauty of ranchlife.

I mean really.

Mike and Nicole?

Mike is no name for a rancher.

And plus, why ain't that woman wearin' an ankle level dress?

Nehemiah's Son

Nehemiah's little son playin' basketball with his friends behind the market. We think he could be the next Larry Bird.

Nehemiah caught in the act of his biweekly bathing in the back of Sir Isaac's ole' pickup.